First Draft of the second verse of "Just a Friend" by Biz Markie

now, more than ever, we need stupid things

Sorry for the delay - it’s been an extremely busy time, and I have nothing of my own to publish. I have, on the other hand, discovered a previously unpublished first draft of Biz Markie’s hit song “Just a Friend” (completed version below)

The first verse and chorus are exactly the same as in the video, and appear in italics. The songs begin to diverge in the second verse, which you can skip ahead if you already know it.

Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date

But a year to make love she wanted you to wait?

Let me tell a story of my situation

I was talkin' to this girl from the U.S. nation

The way that I met her was on tour, at a concert

She had long hair and a short miniskirt

I just got on stage, drippin', pourin' with sweat

I was walkin' through the crowd and guess who I met

I whispered in her ear, "Come to the picture booth

So I can ask you some questions to see if ya hundred proof"

I asked her her name, she said: "Blah-blah-blah"

She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra

I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused

I said: "How do you like the show?" She said: "I was very amused"

I started throwin' bass, she started throwin' back mid-range

But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange

Then when I asked, "Do ya have a man?", she tried to pretend

She said: "No, I don't, I only have a friend"

Come on!

I'm not even goin' for it, this is what I'm goin' sing

[Chorus]

You, you got what I need

But you say he's just a friend

And you say he's just a friend, oh baby

You got what I need

But you say he's just a friend

But you say he's just a friend, oh baby

You got what I need

But you say he's just a friend

But you say he's just a friend

[Verse 2]

So I took Blah Blah's word for it at this time

I thought just havin' a friend couldn't be no crime

Cuz I got friends, and that’s a fact 

Like Agnes, Agatha, Jermaine and Jack

Blah said “Biz Markie why don’t I believe you?”

I said “I do have friends why would I deceive you?”

She said “it’s not a thing I’d have doubted

But as man with no friends you yourself have outed

Most times having friends can be taken as given

but to prove your case you seem far too driven

And on top of that your story would seem better

If their names didn’t start with the same two letters”

I said “that’s slander and that’s a shame

not only do I have friends, I know all their names”

She said “well then we’ll see, well we’ll see then

If you know all their names please recite them again”

I said “that’s easy and my answers remain

Angela, Agnes, Jack and Jermaine”

She said “Now Biz I’m impressed with your rhyme

But Agatha not Angela you said last time”

I looked surprised with my mouth agape

Then I said “if that’s true we can check the tape

But I have friends, that’s fact not fic

And to that story I’m determined to stick”

She asked me a question my truth to reveal

“What’s Angela’s last name if indeed she is real?”

I thought really quick like “how I can save this

Angela’s last name? I believe it is Davis”

She said “Angela Davis, the famous Black Panther?

She’s your friend, that’s your final answer?”

I said “I’ll answer so your query is sated

Not that Angela Davis but someone related”

She said “related? she’s related how?”

I said “She’s her sister on that truth I vow”

She said “Angela Davis’s sister Angela Davis?”

I said “yes, that’s her, you think up I made this?”

She said “yes, in fact that’s indeed what I think

Good thing her biography is written in ink

We’ll go to the library to get a book

and at the section on her family we’ll both take a look”

I said “you wouldn’t find it so don’t even seek it

The existence of my friend is a well-kept secret

If you call Angela Davis and your query persists

She doesn’t even know that her sister exists”

She said, “okay my questioning of Angela ends

But tell me the last names of your other best friends”

I said “that’s fine, I can’t get lost

My friend’s name is Jack and he’s named Jack Frost

And Jermaine my friend is named Jermaine Jackson

In fact my friend Jermaine is my other friend Jack’s son

Agnes’s last name is Magnus, no mystery

And Agatha’s name, it is Agatha Christie

And now I must beg you and plead you and grovel

To believe I did not just read that name off a novel

Even though her books are lined up behind you

I have lots of real friends, of that I remind you

Even more friends than those four or five

I have lots of friends and my friends are alive

I’ll tell you a story that’s very likely

I have friends named Michael, Mickey, Mike, and Mikey

And William, Will, Billy, Wil, Willie, and Bill

Jill and Jack and Jack and Jill

Elizabeth, Betty, Lisa, Betsy, and Bess

Liza, Liz, Isabel, Izzy and Beth

These are multiple people not just all the same names

I have real friends not just my own rhyming games

How real are my friends? So real I say very

My friends are real not imaginary

I met them on vacation and at summer camp

In weather cold, warm, hot, windy, dry, wet and damp

And if this story you’re not inclined to believe

Then from this relationship it’s time to leave

So tell me must our courtship come to an end

Because you don’t believe that I have any friends?”

She looked at me and said “okay, you’re fun

As far as having friends, I think you just made one”

[Chorus]

Oooh baby you

You got what I need

Cuz I finally made a friend

Cuz I finally made a friend

Oooh baby you

You got what I need

Cuz I finally made a friend

Cuz I finally made a friend

end