The Dumb Onion

If there’s one thing I want people to know about me, it’s that I hit a home run off of a pitcher I’m 95% sure was Andy Borowitz in an Onion/New Yorker softball game back in 2009. In unrelated news, I thought it would be fun to make a version of the Onion that was as dumb and toothless as possible, in the same way people in improv enjoy “bad improv.” Here, without further ado, is

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